Observations From a Band Mom Seeing People Go to a Poison Concert

I had so much fun with my Observations From the Beach, I am going to snarkily (my favorite word in all its derivative forms) share with you my observations from today. My daughter's high school band earns $ by having members and parents work parking events downtown (Predators Games, Titans Games, concerts, etc.). Tonight was the Poison concert. Yes, Poison seems to still be alive and touring. I know, I was shocked, too. And as much as I like "Talk Dirty to Me", I cannot imagine shelling out my own hard-earned dollars to attend such an event. But apparently 5000+ Nashvillians did. Whatever.

Anyway, here is my list of observations. Take heed.

• Were all those kids going in with their parents going willingly or were they being dragged? No one was crying but that's not really an indicator. I just cannot imagine anyone under 10 belting out "Talk Dirty to Me." That's a very disturbing image in anyone's book.
• What on earth was my daughters' orthodontist (a truly gorgeous man, btw) doing going to a Poison concert? It took me a moment to recognize him since I've never seen him outside of the office or in a t-shirt and shorts. He recognized me though. He was with two boys and another man. This puts him in a whole new light for me. I think I'll ponder it for a bit.
• Yes, there are men STILL with mullets. The cop who was our attendant (very friendly African-American who kept me laughing) was on the lookout. When we spotted one, he announced that his day was now complete.
• Amazing the number of people going to the concert who went to the smoking area outside the arena. I think someone needs to do a study on this.
• Faith Hill and Tim McGraw had 20 big rigs for their joint concert I worked a year or so ago. Poison had one.
• Why would a two foot tall redneck motorcycle rider refuse to pay for parking just because he was on a bike? I can squash bugs bigger than him. (he did pay, btw. I don't think he knew who he was dealing with).
• NashVegas in the summer heat is the 8th circle of hell. This has been confirmed just now on the local Fox News station.
• Teenagers working parking with their parents must look incredibly bored at all times. It is the law.
• Men who are obviously past their prime shouldn't wear leather pants. Nor leather shirts.
• Lots of mini-skirts with cowgirl boots. If you are a teen in spectacular shape, this can be cute. Not so cute on a forty plus body.
• Poison fans must be highly delusional. People my age and older were dressed like they must've done 20 years ago. I would love to know the thought processes involved. Did they think they looked good? Did someone confirm this for them?
• Honey, Bret Michaels is not going to look at you even if you're wearing his trademark cowboy hat. You lost that possibility when you hit menopause.
• As the policeman said, "There goes two former groupies who refuse to let the dream die." It's time for it to die, my friends.
• Poison does, however, attract all kinds. Besides our orthodontist and the rednecks, we saw people who looked remarkably sane; we saw handicapped and someone with "Dope Love" tattooed on her back; we saw little kids and those well past their prime. Scariest thought for me was the realization that, if AC/DC comes back to town, Jeff and I will be two of those people going to see them. Egads.

~taminator40